The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

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The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:57 pm

I am William Engule, Shultze rank wehrmacht and reporter of incidents inside Minisk.

Today, our topic is about John Vanhood's evil nemisis, Drake Vanhogan, he tried to cannibalize him today, while also rapeing a loaf of bread, just as John Vanhood screamed.
Oberst Guntrum has arrived before John Vanhood was baked alive, and before Drake Vanhogan took another innocent bread's virginity.
Drake Vanhogan was executed on the spot for cannibalizism and bread rape inside The Engule Family Bakery, today, near the Palaza, on the street to the bridge joining two avenues.

We owe this accomplishment to John Vanhood for figuring out this meanance, and to Oberst Guntram for saving John Vanhood, but also to me, for destroying my own pipe line to my oven, trapping Vanhogan inside my bakery, and taking the pictures that are being devoloped at this minute. Pictures will be presented later today.

Thank you, and Good Night! More news will be presented if allowed and wanted!


Last edited by TheGreen on Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:25 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by SomebodyX on Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:59 pm

*claps* Brilliant Short Stories. Very Happy
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:12 pm

Indeed! And, DROOLINGFUCKINGPACMAN fixed this thread if needed any edits. No one eles.

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by Niko Lee on Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:16 pm

Hard to read the story when its all black(Hurts my eyes) but i read some and it sound pretty professional to me.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:19 pm

Niko Lee wrote:Hard to read the story when its all black(Hurts my eyes.)

-Fixed it. Now white, easier to read.

Also, if you feel like you want me to, I could post more stories as if like a Newspaper article. Maybe if Admin lets me, I could have my own section for it, but very unlikely.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by Bourne on Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:57 pm

*Faps&Claps*
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by Meatshield on Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:06 pm

I whatted.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by SomebodyX on Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:06 pm

TheGreen wrote:
Niko Lee wrote:Hard to read the story when its all black(Hurts my eyes.)

-Fixed it. Now white, easier to read.

Also, if you feel like you want me to, I could post more stories as if like a Newspaper article. Maybe if Admin lets me, I could have my own section for it, but very unlikely.

Yes..I volunteer to be Assistant Editor....maybe we should create epic short stories when there's no people on unless it's just us Razz
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:11 pm

SomebodyX wrote:Yes..I volunteer to be Assistant Editor....maybe we should create epic short stories when there's no people on unless it's just us Razz

Agreed. I made a thread about it in the Suggestions section if anyone wants to see. I hope we get some support, then I will ask the administrators if it will be fine if the Newspaper has its own section.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by Admin on Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:03 am

Moved.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:15 am

Admin wrote:Moved.

Thanks, didn't see this was here.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by medicdude on Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:16 am

I anticipate your news career coming to short end...
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:39 am

medicdude wrote:I anticipate your news career coming to short end...

Your starting a fight I do not want to lose, american. Do not piss me off.

Also, I do not see you doing any better, for it turns out, it is your fault there is a nocollide problem in the hospital.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by medicdude on Fri Jun 25, 2010 1:33 pm

I told humil how to fix it and he forgot to listen!
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by SomebodyX on Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:17 pm

TheGreen wrote:
medicdude wrote:I anticipate your news career coming to short end...

Your starting a fight I do not want to lose, american. Do not piss me off.

Also, I do not see you doing any better, for it turns out, it is your fault there is a nocollide problem in the hospital.

"Do not piss me off" ...lol that was epic
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:30 pm

medicdude wrote:I told humil how to fix it and he forgot to listen!

You step into my thread, and tell me that this project will not last long? You got another thing coming, american...

I never liked FacePunch and TnB forum types... Now I have to deal with them again?! Thats one of the reasons I LEFT TnB in the first place!
Stay away from me, and we will be just fine...


Last edited by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by medicdude on Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:39 pm

I don't mind the project, but the material you're writing is incredibly non-period and downright unpublishable.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:42 pm

medicdude wrote:I don't mind the project, but the material you're writing is incredibly non-period and downright unpublishable.

Exactly. We are just telling everyone what will come AFTER Propaganda gets stuck into place, and then we will send out Underground newspapers. Propaganda gets settled in with a blanket on top in about five weeks, then we add a Underground news into the setting. We are not putting both in at the same time, or eles that would cause big fights all over the place.
I have been knowing how this worked. I was helping in the TnB newspaper when it lasted as well, and I know how to do it right! No Undergrounds yet, Propaganda for now. Don't act like a smart ass, we know what we are doing without your help.

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by medicdude on Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:05 pm

Oh really? Except for the following issues: multiple spelling errors, personal identification within an official news report, mention of a 'evil nemesis' in a supposedly serious article.

Today, our topic is about John Vanhood's evil
nemisis,
Drake Vanhogan, he tried to cannibalize him today, while also rapeing a
loaf of bread, just as John Vanhood screamed.

What kind of sentence is this? You introduce the topic and jump straight to the action without an appropriate pause for breath. Run-on. Then you add multiple prepositional phrases onto the end, which result in utter confusion.

Tons of personal identification. Full names repeated again and again make a mess, which is why newspaper writers switch to using only last names after their first introduction of the subjects.

You should announce the place that events took place before saying what those events actually were, to improve the readers' interpretation.

near the Palaza, on the street to the bridge joining
two
avenues.

What is this i don't even. There isn't a plaza on Venetian.

News articles should rarely include first-person references, and certainly not self-promotion.

More news will be presented if allowed and wanted!

You're acting as if the public opinion makes the newspaper live and die. This is a government publication; public opinion isn't going to have an effect, especially not in the short term.

Regardless of how well you may know what you're doing, you're still doing it wrong.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by DroolingPacman on Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:46 pm

Medic, there is a plaza, and you forget to capitalize I. Good game, I beat you both.

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 10:51 pm

medicdude wrote:Oh really? Except for the following issues: multiple spelling errors, personal identification within an official news report, mention of a 'evil nemesis' in a supposedly serious article.

Today, our topic is about John Vanhood's evil
nemisis,
Drake Vanhogan, he tried to cannibalize him today, while also rapeing a
loaf of bread, just as John Vanhood screamed.

What kind of sentence is this? You introduce the topic and jump straight to the action without an appropriate pause for breath. Run-on. Then you add multiple prepositional phrases onto the end, which result in utter confusion.

Tons of personal identification. Full names repeated again and again make a mess, which is why newspaper writers switch to using only last names after their first introduction of the subjects.

You should announce the place that events took place before saying what those events actually were, to improve the readers' interpretation.

near the Palaza, on the street to the bridge joining
two
avenues.

What is this i don't even. There isn't a plaza on Venetian.

News articles should rarely include first-person references, and certainly not self-promotion.

More news will be presented if allowed and wanted!

You're acting as if the public opinion makes the newspaper live and die. This is a government publication; public opinion isn't going to have an effect, especially not in the short term.

Regardless of how well you may know what you're doing, you're still doing it wrong.

This is NOT a FUCKING NEWS ARTICLE. If you LISTENED for the first god damn time in your life, you would have noticed Somebody commentened "Short Story." I did not meant for this to be a newspaper. This is a Short Story that me, Drooling, and Somebody made up while in game. Do not start a fight where a fight is not needed.

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by DroolingPacman on Fri Jun 25, 2010 10:58 pm

Both of you, quit raging at each other.

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by TheGreen on Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:01 pm

DroolingPacman wrote:Both of you, quit raging at each other.

Sorry, I just hate those types of forum posting whores.

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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by medicdude on Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:17 pm

I never rage.
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Re: The Bread rape and Cannibalisim Incident in Minsk

Post by andrewhatesyou on Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:09 am

when I find you ICly im gunna beat you up. (whats ur IC name)

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